Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Take your Shirt OFF!


Wow! What an interesting day! I'm sure I'm not alone here, but just in case none of my readers has ever felt this way, let me explain. I'm not totally pleased with my body -- you know, I'm always looking at aspects of other men's bodies and asking God why He chose not to endow me with those certain unalienable parts (wait no that's "rights" and that's from the Declaration of Independence -- sounded good)!

Anyway, I read an article in the Chron (San Francisco Chronicle) today about Paul Newman. Here is a man born into a life of wealth with ne'ry a worry or care. He led a charmed life, surrounded by family and friends who cheered him on and now that he's gone, he's known best for two things: his incredible blue eyes and his success in the salad dressing industry. Go figure!

That being said, I'm definitely not Paul Newman, nor Harrison Ford, nor Omar Sharif (I had to mention Omar because my wife thought he was a hunk in his hey-day) nor anyone close to that (although some have said that I look like Andy Warhol (just teasing)).

When you think about it, It sucks being an average Joe unless you're Joe Namath but the downside of that is that you get stuck doing car advertisements with old women!

Now don't you dare tell me you can't relate to these feelings because EVERY MAN I know who has access to my blog is AVERAGE at best!

So, this past Saturday and Sunday, the temperatures soared into the low 100's putting quite the strain on the HVAC (heating, ventilation, air conditioning) systems of our buses and put them to a test for the first time this year.

YEP It's kind of like the first pitch of the season that defines the pitcher and makes or breaks him for the rest of the season. Can you imagine what would have happened if the Giants' Tim Lincecum's first pitch of the season would have fallen short of home plate and just kind of dribbled over the plate? OH MY GOD!!! There goes his paycheck! But it didn't and he's still the fastest pitcher in the west and awed by us mere mortals even though he truly is a scrawny, scruffy kid with a physical prowess that comes no where near that of Michelangelo's statue of David.

My point is this: Some buses achieve while others falter. So today, as I relieved another driver, I climbed aboard one of our buses. When I did, I felt like I was walking into a sauna. The HVAC system was definitely not working. The still heavy air was permeated with scents of untreated body odor. I mumbled alound, "Gosh it's hot in here!"

A diminuitive lady sitting in the front seat responded, "Why don't you take off your shirt!"

Her remark startled a nervous laugh out of me and as I glanced her way, she winked and said, "I might be 70 but I'm not dead honey and the likes of you could send me to heaven!"

That was the highlight of my day!

So I now walk about proud and thank God that He has indeed endowed me with not all unalienable parts but certain unalienable parts to be sure, and as I ponder this I think to myself, "Tim, please don't take off your shirt!"

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